вторник, 6 октября 2015 г.

How my soul evaporated

     It was in October. Hurricane  wind blew out my mind towards the chemical lab. The gloomy sky cried. Cold tears together with rain drops covered my space. Suddenly, I felt unusual warms coming from inside. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, looking for the answer., but it was none. My fingers were not able to make  a cross sign on  the shivering shoulders, I did not see them. My body was getting hotter and hotter, it seemed that the red particles of sinful  blood  were moving with a speed of the  light. I did not feel my feet and the whole body started to  transform into the blue with the green sparkles transparent liquid,  with pomegranate spots,  covering  my border with the Earth. I thought I was dead, but it was nothing like in the description we had read in spiritual books.
I looked around. The room was filled with people I  was fortunate to know for 44 years. I observed my young parents, grand parents, our house near the sea, my friends, my man, my children, my students. 
I saw everybody in one second and felt all resentments, pains and gladness at the same time. I started recalling....It was like a movie with a weirdest end. They were all silent, not moving, as a fairy tail witch froze them for a moment.....At that position I understood that there was no fault in my suffering and resentments: neither mine nor anybody else. We were all spiritually sick and sinful, accustomed to the bad pattern of fears and negativity. In between us I mentioned not visible substances,  the 6th state of matter: angels and demons bodies. The dense fog covered our souls, I was able to barely see only mine.
The flashlight of cruel consciousness uncovered all dark puddles on my bumpy road. I saw a dancing rainbow through condensation of  rain drops. It was singing my favorite spring song with blended melodies by  John Lemon, Freddy Mercury and Wolf Amadeus Mozart. The choir  was singing a symphony with two refrains from Vivaldi's violin concert.
Three marvelous creatures from fourth dimension took me inside their unfamiliar matter and
taught me the Newton's laws , which are  working only in the  space. The first one was about absence of gravity, the second - abundance of love, and the third - about  harmful solution of evil and holly will. They showed me the formula of salvation, which was based on unlimited love , calculated as an  infinity dimensioned integral above the eternal  surface. I was not able to count how many solutions my destiny has, the fog around my soul was gradually transforming into the  liquid and I  froze for a moment , looking at my love life. Ice does not have any feelings and could not be hurt. This thought drew a funny smile on a small bluish puddle close to the place were my heart was, inside of  my substance. In this, and only in this state I was able to look at them..... They were dawned in the lake, parts of it look like a swamp and parts of it were  deep and beautiful as an Atlantic ocean. Nobody was happy.....dull, strong wind took my sad song ....my flash evaporated with a melody,  outside of this particular dimension. I heard the angels voices singing the Christmas song, it sounded unfamiliar, like heavenly  imaginary tune. Two black slimes with five  wings in a size of a church took me and dragged me down. I thought its the Earth, everything looked like a homosexual parade on Philadelphia 13th street. They were all blesses and not judge by saint Father, marching and blessing the army of bishops, nuns and other poor people.... I saw the cloud with billions of passions colored red, purple, brown and rainbow. There were no yellow and white, no light and absolutely no mercy....they only looked  happy, proud of themselves with a nimb of noble circles around their heads, they were  free to do whatever they feel like....but lonely and abandoned in the emptiness of a black hole inside , filled with selfishness and pride.
I smiled and cried at the same time, flying further and deeper, where was no beginning and no end. I was not able to see neither God nor saints. My eyes were not able to focus ....fast impossibly bright and strong current repelled from my weak cloud of gasses. Their smell did not belong to this glittering light. I was returned and became a solid straight from gas. My soul was trembling through aching shivering body. I understood: the light of true light should be gained on the Earth, before it is too late.

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